#fbf

#fbf or in Not Quite Complaining terms, Facebook Friday. Here are some of the status updates I would have posted if I had a Facebook account.

 

 

There is nothing quite like the panic you feel when you realize you forgot to buy toilet paper. It closely resembles the panic one feels when you accidentally swallow mouthwash. (Am I going to die?) Or when you think you might have fluoride poisoning from brushing your teeth too much. Or when you know for sure your body has ingested too much sodium to due to chips and guacamole. Hypochondria at it’s finest.

 

Went to the dentist with a big, disgusting pimple on my chin. Introduced it to everyone I encountered there. It was like explaining why my 30 year old son still lives at home. “I know he is there. I can’t get rid of him yet. If I do, he will only come back and possibly bring friends with him.”

 

The only reason I went to the dentist is because I thought I had cancer on my tooth.

 

I’m not certain, but I believe my forehead is actually growing.

 

“Mom, this is going to sound weird, but…can you take me back to school after my doctor’s appointment?” Asked by my eldest. The same kid who makes me set up a reminder on my phone when he has student council meetings.He also reminds me numerous times to sign his book log and his planner. I have often yelled, “I am the adult in this relationship!” I’m praying God brings him an organized spouse. He could end up single and for real living in my basement, reminding me to pay his cable bill.

 

 

 

 

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