#fbf

I took a small hiatus from writing. It was excruciating. Here are some things I jotted down while away from the keyboard.

 

 

“There’s absolutely nothing I don’t like about Vin Diesel.”   -The Man I Married

 

Heaven will smell like white bread. #paleo

 

7:30 P.M. and the Ice Cream Man is creepin’ in my neighborhood while I am trying to put my children to bed. This is how people get shot.

 

Has anyone else had to chase a Disney princess pool float through the Aldi parking lot? No? Cool. Me neither.

 

Dinner consisted of sweet potato chips (the whole bag), salsa, and green olives.

 

Sometimes, when I see a baby boy’s sweet little feet, I think, “One day these will be so ugly.”

 

If guacamole didn’t spoil so quickly, I would sculpt it into a man and marry it. No shame.

 

When you don’t use your blinker, it makes me want to karate kick your clavicle. I mean it.

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