#fbf

Summer = laziness and craziness. Here are my fake Facebook statuses (statusii?) from the past two weeks.

 

Are Gushers Paleo? No cheese. No grain. I assume, yes.

Picked cilantro from my garden for a salad. I’m so domestic it is painful.

My daughter has been refusing to get out of the car for summer school. I’ve had to physically carry her inside. This means I’ve had to put on real clothes (with buttons) and make-up every single day. Unacceptable.

My husband and I are no longer texting. We are communicating only through Dub Smash videos.

Just walked in on my daughter screaming, “LISTEN TO JESUS!!” three inches from my son’s face. I slowly backed out of the room.

I have lost another library book. If I were to offer them five used books from my own collection, would we be even?

Thought it was raining outside. It was just food burning on the stove. Forgot I was cooking, yet again.

Took a shower and decided to put real clothes on. Husband came home and was concerned, thought something was wrong. Kept asking if we had plans he forgot about. Truth is, I didn’t have any pajamas clean, so I had no other options.

I stopped saying “get on my level” because I have determined that my level is pretty low and fairly easy to “get on.” Wear elastic-waisted pants and don’t shower daily. Congrats, you are on my level.

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