My brother does this “trick.” He claims that no one in the entire world can do it. The ENTIRE WORLD, people! This is a massive deal. The trick is this awkward rookie gymnast/beginner’s yoga move that, honestly, anyone in the world CAN do. It starts with his long, slim body lying on the floor, and then in one smooth movement he brings his legs up straight up with his toes pointed to the sky. His arms fold up behind his bum to help keep his lanky body in the air. The impressive thing is not the movement itself, but rather the intensity of his face as he does it. It is something one must see to believe.
I once told my children about the Move That No One in the World Can Do. Their little faces scrunched up as I demonstrated it. They watched intently, noting every line and slight movement my body made. I explained that I am no good at The Move That No One in the World Can Do and that, sadly, their uncle is the only one who has perfected it … in the world. I told them that it would be impossible for them to do it. Just plain impossible. They both laughed and screamed, “I can do it!” And when they did the move perfectly and with more grace and agility than their 6- foot-5, 31 year-old uncle, they both smiled widely and humbly proclaimed “See! We did it. It’s not impossible.”
There are many times in my life in which I have thought things were impossible. I wouldn’t dare ask God to intervene, because I assumed that He wouldn’t. I have known my whole life that God is an impressive and all-powerful being, but it was rare that it was tested.
The day I found porn in my husband’s browser history, I broke. I had trusted that God brought me a husband that wouldn’t lust after other women. Memories of a cheating boyfriend who broke my heart over and over flooded me that morning. I sat weeping on my bed, asking God why He would ever let this happen. I already walked through this kind of pain. Why was I being put through it again?
What I couldn’t see in those initial moments was that I was being protected. The Lord could have let this go on and on without me ever knowing. My husband’s lust could have grown and grown into an actual affair with an actual woman. Instead, I believe the Lord brought it to my attention in order to protect me. I would have never asked about porn. It wasn’t on my radar. Then some odd nudging feeling in my gut (the Holy Spirit) urged me to dig. This was God being my Protector.
In the months since that humbling experience, my heart has grown rigid again. Recently I have found myself not needing God, yet again. I am fully capable of functioning daily without having to rely on Him. If I don’t stop to think, I will just live life with my head down pushing through the mundane day-to-day routines without ever witnessing what God is doing around me.
I no longer want to live like that. I want to be back on that bed, crying my eyes out, begging the Lord to fix things. I want my eyes wide open when the Lord does that impossible Move That No One In The World Can Do. I want to feel it in my gut when He smiles and says, “See! It’s not impossible.”