I deleted my Facebook account a long time ago. It was a painful day. This is me reliving my Facebook life via blog posts. Facebook Friday.

My husband and I often get into legit discussions about who Taylor Swift should date next. He says Sam Hunt; she needs a good old country boy. I am all for Matt Healy; everyone should date a tattooed misfit once in their life.

I genuinely don’t understand luxury stationwagons. Buying an Audi station wagon makes zero sense. I don’t understand why they are even made. Also, why do people put rims on Toyota Camrys?

I had big plans for the day. I was going to work out and write while my daughter was at Grandma’s. Instead, I ate Chipotle and took a two-hour nap. I have convinced myself that I burned the same number of calories. The math isn’t important.

If you aren’t using smoked paprika, your life isn’t completely whole.

Skiing feels like a rich people sport. Rich people who are balanced and coordinated.

Watching my husband shuffle cards is more painful than a cesarean section.

Sometimes, when my skin burns randomly, I wonder if I somehow got acid on me. I don’t know, people. I’m concerned for myself as well.

ADIDAS: All Day I Dream About Salami

I am always concerned that I will forget to clear my browser history prior to my death. I don’t need people knowing that I Googled “celebrities with cellulite” or that I constantly feel the need to research who Selena Gomez and Mindy Kaling are dating.

Just read about a man facing $1 MILLION in child support a MONTH. I’m praying his baby is the national debt.

I don’t understand why the world is talking about an ugly dress. Optometrists are about to make a fortune.

4 Responses

  1. Michael_reeves6@yahoo.com'

    Smoked paprika is delicious on everything! Kinda like bacon but for vegetarians.

    Ps-it makes a mean sauce for homemade sushi.

  2. Stefanie

    Carhartt bibs are expensive!

    In my expert opinion, if you do not see blue and black on that dress you need to see an eye doctor. Also, I will question our friendship.

  3. bakerc56@sbcglobal.net'

    I’m guessing you have never seen people ski in carhartt bibs. I don’t understand the dress thing either, was hoping you would explain it to us in your #fbf.

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